Every adult should have an estate plan. If you worry about whether your parents have one — or whether it is up to date — it may be time to have a conversation about it. Talking about estate planning can be hard for families in North Carolina, but it is important to do so before a health crisis occurs. According to Business Insider, knowing how to bring it up gently is the key to having a productive conversation.
Find a Reason to Bring Up the Estate Plan
Bringing up estate planning to your parents can feel jarring without a lead-in. Use a news article, a current event, or even a friend’s experience as a natural way to open the topic. Prepare your parents for the conversation ahead of time rather than surprising them. This gives everyone a chance to collect paperwork and come to the discussion with the right state of mind, especially when discussing important elder law matters.
Older children might begin by simply telling their parents that they want to ensure they are cared for. Framing the conversation around your parents’ wellbeing — rather than assets or inheritance — helps set the right tone from the start.
Start the Conversation Early
Parents can lay the groundwork long before the conversation feels urgent by discussing their values and how to manage money with their children when they are young. In families where estate planning has never been discussed, it can feel like a difficult subject to broach. However, there is still time to change the dynamic and start a healthy conversation about the future. Parents may want to begin by telling their children that they want to talk about their expectations for the years ahead.
Bring the Family Together
Estate planning conversations can be tense. If you have the conversation alone without bringing in other members of the family, it may add tension. Siblings may assume you want to take control of your parents’ estate plan for your own purposes. Talk to other family members beforehand to ensure everyone is on the same page.
Some families find it helpful to involve a third-party professional — such as an estate planning attorney — who can facilitate the discussion and help everyone understand the available options without the conversation becoming personal or adversarial.
Plan What You Want to Discuss
Estate planning is a complex process. The conversation could involve discussing a living will, power of attorney, trusts, and guardianship. A few topics worth covering:
A financial power of attorney designates someone to make financial decisions if your parents can no longer do so themselves. That person could be a family member or a professional financial advisor. Talk to your parents about who they trust in that role.
A health care power of attorney appoints someone to make medical decisions on an incapacitated person’s behalf. Preparing for this possibility is just as important as any other element of estate planning — and incapacity does not only happen to older people.
Trusts are another topic worth raising. Many people think of trusts as something only for the wealthy, but these versatile tools can serve many functions in different family situations. Parents with minor children may also want to discuss setting up a trust for their children and naming a guardian in their will.
Being There Makes a Difference
Estate planning is not only difficult — it can be emotional and overwhelming. Being there for your parents through the process can help ease it considerably. The team at Daughtry, Woodard, Lawrence, & Starling can help guide your family through these conversations and the planning that follows. Contact us to schedule a consultation.
This information is provided for educational purposes and should not be interpreted as legal advice.
